The 2013 Following Atticus Gratitude Hike

Atticus along the trail.   My absolute favorite photo!

Leading up to this hike, I had envisioned several things.  I pictured hiking behind Atticus and being in awe that I was living the book I had read.  I thought I would be taking lots of photos of the beautiful foliage and scenery.  I thought I would talk to a lot of the other hikers and also to my mom.  I thought I would have a magical experience on the mountaintop and I pictured being up there by myself even though I knew I was hiking with a group.  I thought I would think of my divorce journey while hiking and then have a moment at the top where I might cry as I fulfilled my goal of getting there and the idea of starting fresh.  I had imagined several things that I thought it might be like in my daydreams prior to the hike.  But it turned out different than expected in some ways.  Not bad, just different.

For starters, by the time this hike came about, I had gotten over my divorce pretty well.  My divorce was finalized on August 29th and that's really the last time I gave it any thought.  So I had already moved on and had nothing to ponder in regards to that while hiking.  It already seemed like a distant memory.  That was a good thing, but it changed what I had envisioned for the hike.

Beginning of the hike

At the very beginning of the hike, we were all together and Tom and Atticus were at the front.  This part was exactly as I had pictured except for the large number of people.  I sometimes couldn't see Atticus because there were so many people in front of me that it was their butts I was seeing instead of Atticus's.  But I did get to follow Atticus and watch him scale the rocks with ease on many occasions and it was really quite awesome to see in real life.  Atticus was always quiet on the hike.  I never heard a sound from him.  He didn't seemed phased at all by all the people around him.  He just moved along confidentally like the trail was his only stopping to check and see where Tom was and to wait for him to catch up.  The group was moving at a slow pace so Atticus was probably wondering what the hold up was all the time.  He would stop often and just stand and wait until Tom caught back up again.  Tom had dropped to the back of the group to walk with some of the ones who were struggling.  After a little while, the group began to separate and some forged on faster at the front and some slower at the back and then there were some in between.  My mom and I walked together for a little while but then she began talking with Russ a bit and so she was walking a little ahead of me to talk to him.

I took a few pictures along the way but not near as many as I had intended or thought I would.  I enjoyed looking around though and taking it all in.  I do wish I would've taken more photos though to remember it.  I felt a little rushed, like I had to keep up with the group and so I didn't want to stop to take a photo and get behind.  In hindsight, I realize I had plenty of time to stop and I should have.

As far as talking to the other hikers, I did a little but not much.  I don't know why.  It just didn't happen naturally.  I was very quiet on this trip for some reason.  I talked to Chris Chiaretta a little at the beginning of the hike and a little bit to Erica but just surface talk.  I didn't really get to know anyone as much I thought I would.  So the social aspect was a little different than I thought it would be.  I did make some connections though even if we didn't talk alot.  Those who know me through work and other places at home would be surprised to hear I wasn't talking much.  Ha.

Chris Chiaretta and Ric Pratte (my new friends)

My mom struggled a bit in places on the hike as it got steep and full of rocks.  Her backpack was feeling heavy and so I carried it for a little while for her as did several other hikers at different times during the hike.  I was actually quite surprised that I was not struggling myself.  Last time I had done any kind of hike at all, I was so out of breath and struggled to just go a mile.  But I had been training for this hike and it paid off.  I felt very good the whole time and had no trouble breathing at all, even while carrying the extra backpack.  It was a difficult trail with steep inclines and lots of rocks and roots but I was scaling them with ease, much to my surprise and delight.

Just before we reached the summit, we stopped on a lower part and let the back of the group catch up.  Then we pretty much went up to the summit all together.  I was standing at the front at that time so I was one of the first few to be up there.  I climbed up on top of a rocky ledge and looked out at the beautiful vista of mountains.  It was gorgeous.  First I just stood there gazing.  Then I raised my arms in triumph for making it to the top and completing my journey.  That was a great moment but it was very brief.  The rest of the hikers were right behind me and soon there were people everywhere on the summit.  I sat down on the edge of a ledge by myself but within minutes I had the company of 3 other hikers who sat down beside me.  I enjoyed talking with them a bit and sat there for quite a while, but then I got up and looked around.  Everywhere I turned, there were people.  Some from our group and some with other groups.  I saw a few people sitting off by themselves and I wanted to do that too but I didn't see a place anywhere without people and I didn't want to disturb the quiet spots those few hikers had found either.  So, I just meandered around the summit, looking at the views and talking briefly with some of the hikers and my mom.  It wasn't exactly as I had pictured the mountaintop experience to be but it was still great.  The views were spectacular no matter which direction I looked.

Me at the summit

Tom and I at the summit

Atticus at the summit

As I looked around at one point, I saw Tom gazing out and Atticus was resting his head on  Tom's shoulder.  It was the sweetest view I had up there.  I think I was among the first to notice and I took my camera out to take a photo.  Then nearly all the rest of the hikers were taking photos too.  Tom had no idea because we were all behind him with our cameras while he enjoyed his moment with Atticus.  It was special and it's a moment I won't forget.

Tom and Atticus

On the way back down the mountain, the group of us ended up splitting up into smaller groups again like it was on the way up.  I was walking with Donna Jean for a little bit on the way down and it was nice to talk to her.  Then as we progressed down the mountain, I found myself walking with just Tom and Atticus.  My mom and Donna Jean and some others were behind us and there was another group ahead of us.  I'm not sure how long it was but it was a pretty good portion of the trail that it was just the 3 of us.  That was special.  It was quiet and there were no other people around so I could watch Atticus be Atticus without anything blocking my view or distracting me.  As I quietly walked alongside Tom, I thought about how unbelievable it was that I was on that hike with the stars of the book that I loved.  Who would've ever thought that I would be hiking with Tom and Atticus?  Certainly not me.  It was a most special gift that I will never forget.

After making it down the mountain, there were still people in our group yet to come.  My mom was right behind me even though we couldn't see her for a long time.  She ended up emerging from the trail just a few minutes after me.  The last group to come down was Laura, Ed, Jenn, Mike and Roy.  It was after dark by that point and had been something like 9 hours since we had started the hike.  So when they reached the parking lot, those of us that were still there cheered and applauded at their arrival and accomplishment.  It was really neat to be there for that moment.  Laura and Ed had struggled quite a bit to get up and down that mountain and so this was a pretty big deal for them to have made it and I know they were both really happy to have done it and appreciative of the help they received to get it done.

I've saved my favorite moment of the hike for last though it actually happened near the beginning.  There came a time when my mom was happily talking to people in front of me and others were far behind me to the point I couldn't see them so I decided to slow my pace a bit and drop back from the group my mom was with.  I slowed down enough that I was able to have the mountain all to myself for a little while.  I couldn't see anyone in front of me or anyone behind me and it was nice and quiet.  I listened to the stream that flowed along side the trail a bit below.  I took in the colors of the foliage as I walked.  I stopped and just stood there a couple of times also and then tears started welling up in my eyes and eventually they spilled out.  Later I was telling someone about this moment and they asked why I was crying.  What was I thinking about?  I didn't have an answer because I wasn't thinking about anything in particular.  I was just taking it in.  I've tried to think of a way to describe this moment and the best thing I can relate it to is music.  Sometimes when you listen to music, the words that are sung will touch you and make you feel some sort of emotion.  Depending on the lyrics, it could a happy or a sad emotion.  But this moment alone in the woods had no lyrics, there were no thoughts to grab the words from.  No, this moment was like an instrumental.  No words, only music.  And the music of the mountain brought tears just like a symphony can sometimes do when it touches you.  No words needed.  I was happy and I felt like I was "right where I was suppose to be".  This was my favorite moment.  This was when I fell in love with the White Mountains and I intend to go back very soon.

A section of the trail near where I was able to be alone early in the hike.

And just for fun...
Here is the video that my daughter recorded of when I found out that I was chosen for this hike.  I was just a 'little' bit excited.  ;)